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Ecclesiastes is a wisdom book which contains the words of “the Teacher” or “the Preacher,” identified as “the son of David, king in Jerusalem” (Eccl 1:1). The book addresses the ultimate questions of life and death, beginning with the observation that “all is vanity” (Eccl 1:2). The Teacher — called Qoheleth in Hebrew — takes a cold-eyed look at the world, and he certainly isn’t the philosopher to consult if you need some cheering up. “All is vanity,” Ecclesiastes insists: All is worthless, meaningless, absurd; as solid as vapor, fog and steam. The Teacher surveys society and spots extreme pride in human appearance and accomplishments. He looks around and sees narcissism — defined as excessive self-love and admiration.
According to Psychology Today, narcissism can range from an annoying tendency to a serious clinical disorder. We aren’t talking just about people who imitate the character Narcissus, the handsome young man of Greek mythology who withdrew from the world, content to gaze forever at his own reflection in a pool of water. People with this kind of vanity are pathetic but basically harmless. No, real-life narcissists desperately need other people to validate their own worth. “It’s not so much being liked,” says Roy Baumeister, a social psychologist at Florida State University. “It’s much more important to be admired. Studies have shown narcissists are willing to sacrifice being liked if they think it’s necessary to be admired.” Vain people want to be admired for being unique, even though Ecclesiastes knows that “there is nothing new under the sun” (Eccl 1:9).
This craving for admiration is a red flag, one of the clearest warning signs of narcissism. So how can we spot this tendency in ourselves and in the people around us, and what can we do about it? We can take instruction from the Teacher of Ecclesiastes, who examines all the human deeds that are done under the sun and concludes, “All is vanity and a chasing after wind” (Eccl 1:14). At first glance, this seems to be a depressing picture of human life. It’s hard to accept that absolutely everything is meaningless. But on a deeper level, the Teacher is saying that we do not gain self-worth from our accomplishments. “What do people gain from all the toil at which they toil under the sun?” he asks. Nothing. “A generation goes, and a generation comes, but the earth remains forever” (Eccl 1:3-4). He also implies that our self-worth does not come from our possessions. “All things are wearisome; more than one can express; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, or the ear filled with hearing” (Eccl 1:8). We look around at things we want, and our appetite is rarely satisfied. Ecclesiastes says that we shouldn’t be admired for our human deeds or our possessions. Instead, our worth comes completely from being children of God. Everything else is vanity.
In addition, we cannot remain at the center of things forever. “The people of long ago are not remembered,” says the Teacher, “nor will there be any remembrance of people yet to come by those who come after them” (Eccl 1:11). Narcissists don’t like this, because they like to be seen and remembered. The Teacher says, “I saw all the deeds that are done under the sun; and see, all is vanity and a chasing after wind” (Eccl 1:14). The truth of human life is that our days are numbered, and our deeds and accomplishments are going to fade away when we’re gone. Ecclesiastes knows that the cycles of nature will continue whether we are living in the world or not: “The sun rises and the sun goes down … The wind blows … All streams run to the sea … they continue to flow” (Eccl 1:5-7).
Scripture says that we’re created from the dust of the earth, and to dust we shall return. In the first of his letters, Peter says, “All flesh is like grass … The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord endures forever” (1 Pet 1:24-25). Both the Teacher and Peter have a profound insight into the transience of human life — we grow and wither like grass, while the word of the Lord endures. Moving beyond vanity begins when people discover that they cannot find self-worth in accomplishments or possessions, nor can they remain at the center of things forever. Only when narcissists ask why their lives feel so empty do they take a step toward truly life-giving relationships with God and with the people around them.
Jesus teaches us that God — not ourselves — should be at the center of our lives, and that the greatest of commandments is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” He goes on to say that a second commandment is like it: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt 22:37-39). To focus on God and neighbor is the opposite of narcissism and is also the antidote to vanity. This passage from Ecclesiastes is one of the Bible’s greatest hits because it teaches us that the solution to narcissism isn’t self-hatred. Instead, it’s a set of healthy relationships with God, with self, and with the people of God around us. In a world of vanity, vapor and steam, this is where we can find a solid, meaningful life.
Questions:
1. Where do you see narcissists in the world, and what harm do they do?
2. Why are accomplishments and possessions a poor measure of self-worth?
3. How are we helped by focusing on relationships with God and neighbor?
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